I Saw That Thing Today

Letter
I saw that thing on board my ship today. It tried to sneak up on me while I was steering, the devil. What I saw when I turned around confused me, however - perhaps a symptom of my increasing signs of Hypothermia. But when I turned around to thwack the thing, I caught a glimpse of two hairy legs, a bare-chest, and a curly thick mustache, before it scattered off. I think that thing was... me. The doors have since frozen over, and I have no intention of repairing them. Whatever that ugly thing is, it can stay out there and drown.

Sincerely,

Pheobus T. Ashesgrash